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a marvelous mimicry and an attempt to fly

Set on students of the Fall 2016 PCC Dance Performance class, this work investigated the solo dance making process and how the solo and group collective are seemingly related, however unintentionally so. We are all, alone in this world together.

Sometimes worry clouds my judgment, then judgment takes over my heart, my passion, my soul. Then the space is crowded. Fully crowded. And there’s no more space for me. For who I am. Or, at least, who I think I am. So instead of a free spirit, I’m a caged bird, chirping the songs of my elders, repeating what wants to be heard. No truth in my answers. Or some truth muddied in lies that I don’t trust, but I let others believe them for me because I must. But I shouldn’t.

’Cause I flew the nest to be free, not to find a zoo to be put on display. To be trained to do tricks and be praised for my marvelous mimicry. No, I didn’t fly to have my wings pegged in a glass case, to be ooh-ed and aww-ed over while slowly dying from the lack of oxygen, a beautiful carcass to be adored.

No. I’m meant for the life that is moving, constantly breathing. Disappearing and reappearing like the wind among the seas. To cause storms and marvelous devastation. To show that life is not meant to be lived in peaceful stagnance but in building and rebuilding. To grow despite the damage and restructuring and weathering.

I’m meant to cause whispers of terror. “What will she do next? What ideas does she plan to destroy?” Because I will destroy to build again, to form beauty from ashes. To create what people say is impossible. But they don’t know ‘cause they’ve buried such thoughts under ruins and old rules. No more. Because I’m here to make things new.
— Jamae Ann Sabangan, PCC Student-2017